Part XVII :: The Discovery That Finally Set Me Free
I had become truly hooked on the Reddit group (even though some of the people were truly messed up by childhood religious conditioning and lived as a strange mix of Atheists and Adventists). I felt that it gave me an outlet to discuss my feelings with a group of people who understood. Before I had hoped that they would come around and reunite with the church. Now, I saw it as a form of therapy.
The truth was, it felt good to talk to these people. They seemed to see the hypocrisy and the cognitive dissonance that I was seeing. It was a breath of fresh air compared to the idea that we all had to be of one mind and think the same way.
One morning, as I prepared for work, I decided to do some research on the idea of golden crowns. This was something that always bothered me. The idea of being rewarded a crown with stars in it based on how many people one reached seemed to be so at odds with who I saw God as. It reminded me of salvation by works. I wanted to look into it more and see if there was any commentary on it. This was probably the pivotal point in my research that lead me to “the place I was never supposed to go.”
As I researched, I found that the idea was based on Methodism*, and didn’t even originate from Ellen White. She just ran with it and claimed that she was shown it by God (She claimed that she was shown a lot by God). In fact, it was a part of her first vision. It is interesting to me how her first vision included what she had learned in Methodism. “Some had very bright crowns, others not so bright. Some crowns appeared heavy with stars, while others had but few” (Testimonies for the Church, pp. 59). Yet, the Bible says nothing at all about crowns with stars for the souls that one has ‘saved.’ In fact, 1 Corinthians 3:8 states that those who plant and those who reap will share in the reward.
*NOTE: Ellen White was raised a Methodist before she became the Adventist visionary. This intrigued me to read more about her. I felt a sense of relief from what I had read, and it put me in a good mood. I was intrigued enough to start researching more about her.
Strangely, I had previously never questioned her. Such an idea always seemed off-limits. If I was to question Ellen White, I would be questioning everything I held dear since my daughter was born. I had been told to “never go to those websites that put her in a negative light.” Yet, now I had done it. I felt dirty as if I was looking at pornography. I was going on forbidden ground, and as an Adventist, one is raised with the idea that going to these kinds of places puts you out of the saving power of your guardian angels. If I was visiting these sites, surely my guardian angels would be leaving my side.Yet, I had gone to the forbidden place, and what I found was intoxicating. I learned about how Ellen White’s superhuman strength was merely a myth. The story says that she had held a very heavy bible up when in a vision for around 40 minutes. I had heard of this story multiple times as an Adventist. It was even mentioned at AFM. Yet, now I had read that the tale came about after she had passed away. Moreover, even the Ellen White estate claimed the story was false. Even so, it appeared in various Adventist literature and sermons.
Shortly after I discovered that Ellen White was not as perfect as others claimed her to be. In fact, while she preached a perfectionist message, her life attested to the same struggles that she said we needed to avoid in order to enter heaven.
“Mary, if you can get me a good box of herrings - fresh ones - please do so.
These last ones that Willie got are bitter and old. If you can buy cans, say (a) half dozen cans of good tomatoes, please do so. We shall need them. If you can get a few cans of good oysters, get them” (Letter 16, 1882).
At the same time, her words were: “His stronghold seems to be giving way; his hitherto brave heart is growing weak. He is invited to accompany them for a walk, and they lead him to a saloon. Oysters or other refreshments are called for, and he is ashamed to draw away and refuse the treat” (Testimonies Vol. 4, p. 435).
While she told others to not eat butter, she ate it herself. Duck was not off limits. And while many argued that these things happened early on, the truth was, they continued throughout her life and throughout her writings. Strangely, she wrote about her experiences eating unclean meat and other delicacies that she said Adventists should shun.
“No man can become a successful workman in spiritual things until he observes strict temperance in his dietetic habits. God cannot let His Holy Spirit rest upon those who, while they know how they should eat for health, persist in a course that will enfeeble mind and body.” (Manuscript 8, 1882).
“No man should be set apart as a teacher of the people while his own teaching or example contradicts the testimony God has given His servants to bear in regard to diet . . . His disregard of health reform unfits him to stand as the Lord's messenger…”
“Can we possibly have confidence in ministers who, at tables where flesh meat is served, join with others in eating it?”
“There are ministers who in their habits of eating have wholly disregarded the light God has given His people on health reform. Their self-indulgence has weakened their piety and diseased their spirituality. They have set the church members an example of intemperance in eating and drinking…”
“Let not any of our ministers set an evil example in the eating of flesh meat. Let them and their families live up to the light of health reform. Let not our ministers animalize their own nature and the nature of their children.”
Yet, I found that Jesus also had something to say about those who placed heavy burdens on others while not obeying those same requirements themselves: ...for they say, and do not. For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers (Matthew 23:3-4 KJV).
It was those binding heavy burdens that caused me to question. Countryside had, for years, placed impossible burdens on my wife’s family and my own. When it was stated that we “needed to be perfect…that others already were perfect,” I cried out “how is that possible, Lord?”
We all beat ourselves up. I saw it when Stephen seethed at his sister for sharing a cheese pizza with the family. It was apparent when I noticed Freddy had stopped enjoying life. When sickness took over, the fruits were apparent. When Stephen stopped smiling, I knew religion had turned ugly. I saw it when Stephen’s life duty was to share documents exposing the Jesuit order. Pastor Albert was one of “those who bind heavy burdens” in health and diet when he was sitting at home stuffing his mouth with potato chips. It had become so clear. That’s when I had the “aha” moment. But it was something that I had never expected. The issue was right in front of me the whole time.
It was the “prophetess” that they all worshipped. It was the salvation-by-works* heavy Ellen White.
*NOTE: Even though many deny it, Ellen White’s writings are heavily skewed in salvation by works. Many statements in her books are clear on the fact that those who do not follow her rules for life will not be saved. Strangely, a quick google search is full of statements by the Ellen White estate asserting that she was not as legalistic as her own writings show she was. “Those who accept the Saviour, however sincere their conversion, should never be taught to say or feel that they are saved.” (Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 155).
Ellen White enjoyed herring, oysters, duck, chicken, and more when others were not allowed to do the same.
“I do not preach one thing and practice another. I do not present to my hearers rules of life for them to follow while I make an exception in my own case…” (Selected Messages, Book 2, p. 305).
“Above all things, we should not with our pens advocate positions that we do not put to a practical test in our own families, upon our own tables. This is a dissimulation, a species of hypocrisy” (Counsels on Diet and Foods, p. 468).
In 1880, She wrote:
"Thursday morning we arose from our births refreshed with sleep. At eight o'clock
we took a portion of the pressed chicken food liberally furnished us by the matron of the sanitarium, put the same in a two-quart pail, and placed it on the stove, and thus we had good hot chicken broth and enjoyed our breakfast. The morning was very cold and this hot dish was very palatable. ... We have plenty of room, good food and plenty of it. Sister McComber scalded up the chicken. Will scald the meat tomorrow morning.” (Manuscript Releases, Vol. 11, pp. 142, 147).
While enjoying the same meat she instructed others to avoid throughout her ministry, she advised her followers who were contemplating this journey to "take your lunch baskets with you, well filled with fruits and plainly cooked bread (Review & Herald, June 17, 1880 para. 19).
Shockingly, this was 11 years after she wrote:
“I have not changed my course a particle since I adopted the health reform. I have not taken one step back since the light from heaven upon this subject first shone upon my pathway. I broke away from everything at once, from meat and butter, and from three meals. ....I left off those things from principle. I took my stand on health reform from principle” (Testimonies, Vol. 2, pp. 371-372).
Ellen White’s assistant stated:
“I was with Mrs. White for seven and a half years like a soul on a rock, because of all kinds of inconsistencies, injustices and chicaneries. I have seen Sr. White eat meat, chicken, fish, fowl, shrimps, rich cake, pies, etc., etc. I cannot go into detail but Sr. Daniells told me she herself had cooked meat for Sr. White on the camp ground. Eld. Horn told me his wife had done the same thing. Sr. Rousseau told me that she too had done so. Dear sister, Sr. White has written that when we do not live up to the testimonies we retract them. She has vitiated (made lifeless) her own claims.” (Fannie Bolton to Mrs. E. C. Slawson, Dec. 30, 1914).
For years, I was taught that Ellen White was inspired. That an angel had visitedher and given her instructions. Countryside had asserted that all her words, all her writings, were inspired. The Seventh-day Adventist Church claims that Ellen White is an inspired messenger of God. Many say she was a prophet. Ellen White claims her work encompassed more than that.
Ellen’s own words make bold claims about what is allowed by God and what is required to gain entrance into heaven. I ask: If one saw an angel, and an angel gave one instruction to not eat meat or butter, would they continue to eat meat and butter? If one truly thought that their entire salvation depended on dietary choices, would they do the opposite? How heavy a burden was placed upon us. Yet, in the end, I felt an intense relief that Ellen White’s place as a normal human being had been firmly established in my own mind. Thinking back to how Albert placed her name on the board during her sermons, as if she was a fortune teller who could discern the future, I was now thrilled that her terrible rules for life no longer applied to me. While there was no harm in desiring to be healthy, I realized that God can still hear my prayers if I eat cheese or butter.
"We must follow the directions given through the Spirit of Prophecy [Mrs. White’s writings]. ... God has spoken to us through His Word. He has spoken to us through the Testimonies to the church and through the books that have helped to make plain our present duty and the position that we should now occupy"(Testimonies, Vol. 8, p. 298).
"The Holy Ghost is the Author of the Scriptures and of the Spirit of
Prophecy" (Selected Messages, Vol. 3, p. 30).
"God has outlined His plan in His Word, and in the Testimonies He has sent to His people" (Battle Creek Letters, p. 74).
"The testimonies are unread and unappreciated. God has spoken to you. Light has been shining from His word and from the testimonies, and both have been slighted and disregarded” (Testimonies, Vol. 5, p. 217).
"If you lessen the confidence of God's people in the testimonies he has sent them, you are rebelling against God as certainly as were Korah, Dathan and
Abirum" (Testimonies, Vol. 5, p. 66).
"If you lose confidence in the testimonies you will drift away from Bible
truth" (Testimonies, Vol. 5, p. 98). This seems at odds with her statements about how if we study our bibles as we ought, we would not “need” her.
"These books contain clear, straight, unalterable truth and they should certainly be appreciated. The instruction they contain is not of human production" (Letter H-339, Dec. 26, 1904).
"These books, giving the instruction that the Lord has given me during the last sixty years, contain light from heaven, and will bear the test of investigation" (Selected Messages, vol. 1, p. 35, 1906).
"When I went to Colorado, I wrote many pages to be read at your camp
meeting. . . God was speaking through clay. You might say this communication was only a letter. Yes, it was a letter, but prompted by the Spirit of God, to bring before your minds things that had been shown me. In these letters which I write, . . . I am presenting to you that which the Lord has presented to me. I do not write one article in the paper expressing merely my own ideas. They are what God has opened before me in vision - the precious rays of light shining from the throne" (Testimonies, Vol. 5, pp. 63-67).
"How many have read carefully Patriarchs and Prophets, The Great Controversy, and The Desire of Ages? I wish all to understand that my confidence in the light that God has given stands firm, because I know that the Holy Spirit's power magnified the truth, and made it honorable, saying: 'This is the way, walk ye in it.' In my books, the truth is stated, barricaded by a 'Thus saith the Lord.' The Holy Spirit traced these truths upon my heart and mind as indelibly as the law was traced by the finger of God, upon the tables of stone..." (Letter 90, 1906).
"I am thankful that the instruction contained in my books establishes present truth for this time. These books were written under the demonstration of the Holy Spirit" (Letter 50, 1906).
"After the passing of the time in 1844 we searched for the truth as for hidden treasure. I met with the brethren, and we studied and prayed earnestly... When they came to the point in their study where they said, 'We can do nothing more,' the Spirit of the Lord would come upon me. I would be taken off in vision, and a clear explanation of the passages we had been studying would be given me, with instruction as to how we were to labor and teach effectively. Thus light was given that helped us to understand the scriptures in regard to Christ, his mission, and his priesthood. A line of truth extending from that time to the time when we shall enter the city of God, was made plain to me, and I gave to others the instruction that the Lord had given me" (Review and Herald, May 25, 1905).
"I beg of you for Christ's sake to consider what I say; for I say it not of myself. It is the word of God to you" (Letter 25b, 1895, pp. 1-3, to Brother and Sister Hare, April, 1895).
"In the night season the Lord gives me instruction in symbols, and then explains their meaning. He gives me the word, and I dare not refuse to give it to the people" Ms. 22, 1890. (VSS 398.2).
"At times I am carried far ahead into the future and shown what is to take place Then again I am shown things as they have occurred in the past. After I come out of vision I do not at once remember all that I have seen, and the matter is not so clear before me until I write, then the scene rises before me as was presented in vision, and I can write with freedom. Sometimes the things which I have seen are hid from me after I come out of vision, and I cannot call them to mind until I am brought before a company where that vision applies, then the things which I have seen come to my mind with force. I am just as dependent upon the Spirit of the Lord in relating or writing a vision, as in having the vision. It is impossible for me to call up things which have been shown me unless the Lord brings them before me at the time that He is pleased to have me relate or write them" (Spiritual Gifts, vol. 2, pp. 292, 293).
"I testify the things which I have seen, the things which I have heard, the things
which my hands have handled of the Word of life. And this testimony I know to be of the Father and the Son. We have seen and do testify that the power of the Holy Ghost has accompanied the presentation of the truth, warning with pen and voice, and giving the messages in their order. To deny this work would be to deny the Holy Ghost, and would place us in that company who have departed from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits" (Selected Messages vol. 2, p. 388).
"It has been presented to me that, so far as possible, I am to impart instruction in
the language of the Scriptures; for there are those whose spiritual discernment is
confused, and when their errors are reproved, they will misinterpret and misapply what I might write, and thus make of none-effect the words of warning that the Lord sends. He desires that the messages He sends shall be recognized as the words of eternal
truth" (Letter 280, 1906, p. 4.).
"I saw the state of some who stood on present truth, but disregarded the visions--
the way God had chosen to teach in some cases, those who erred from Bible truth. I saw that in striking against the visions they did not strike against the worm--the feeble instrument that God spake through--but against the Holy Ghost. I saw it was a small thing to speak against the instrument, but it was dangerous to slight the words of God. I saw if they were in error and God chose to show them their errors through visions, and they disregarded the teachings of God through visions, they would be left to take their own way, and run in the way of error, and think they were right, until they would find it out too late. Then in the time of trouble I heard them cry to God in agony, 'Why didst Thou not show us our wrong, that we might have got right and been ready for this time?'
Then an angel pointed to them and said, “My Father taught, but you would not be
taught. He spoke through visions, but you disregarded His voice, and He gave you up to your own ways, to be filled with your own doings.” (Broadside, To Those Who Are Receiving the Seal of the Living God, Jan. 31, 1849. Selected Messages Book 1, p. 40)
I cried for joy when I realized that I was no longer bound to the life that this long dead woman felt that I needed to live. I no longer needed to prove myself as the “perfect Adventist” anymore. I no longer had to bind myself with impossible rules because
another human being told me that it was required for salvation.
I came to the realization that one must read the Bible in the same way one would read a letter from a loving parent. “We do not talk about God’s love at Countryside,” I was told. No, you had grown so extreme in Adventism that such love no longer existed. I wondered, what was it for? Money? Not even you follow your own rules, Mr. You claim that you can reach perfection and that some have, yet have you never even looked at any of this information? You have scoured YouTube for every conspiracy out there, everything to strike fear into your congregation, yet have you ever asked yourself what you believe?
How many Seventh-day Adventist pastors have read what I have, and how many are still too afraid to speak the truth? These words are not from some obscure place. Almost all of these are from Ellen White’s own mouth! I look at the White Estate. I see how they try to twist all sorts of excuses around every hard thing she said. How they prophet from Ellen being a true prophet. Yet, what is the human cost? How many people lament that they are nowhere near perfect when their idol is nowhere near the same? Yet, they are not told that. Many, as I was, are led to believe that Ellen White followed her words to the letter. She had become an idol. Countryside was another Ellen White cult. Yet, I also saw it in the local church here. How Ellen’s words were uplifted and how there was a pervasive and consuming need to follow her counsel in all matters.
I saw the same thing with how the Mormons followed Joseph Smith. Yet,
Adventists were quick to point out the folly of the Mormons. It was the exact same road. After studying the Mormons, I was floored to see how we have done the same thing. Joseph Smith and Ellen White had a lot in common. They even shared some of the same visions. The product of a time in American history when prophets wielded great power. The early church must have known that. A little girl who had taken a rock to her head was the perfect vehicle to cover up an embarrassing mistake on the part of the church. So many people bought it. I wondered, if I was alive in 1844, would I? The people needed a prophet then. Some still need one now. What is wrong with focusing on worshiping Jesus? Why add to it? Like I stated in my analysis of the Mormon Missionary story, we need a prophet because we are too dumb to go it alone. Yet, are we alone if we have Jesus? Ellen White constantly stated that we would not need her if we read our Bibles enough—and this is a popular quote in sermons. Yet, when you read everything she says, you start to realize that much of it does not go along with scripture. Some even border on the absurd and racist:
"In heaven there will be no color line; for all will be as white as Christ himself. Let us thank God that we can be members of the royal family” (The Gospel Herald, March 1, 1901).
“there should be no intermarriage between the white and the colored
race” (Selected Messages Book 2, page 343). Ellen White’s Estate Hacked Into
One of the most troubling issues that I encountered was the idea that the Ellen White estate was hacked into. “The Ellen G. White Estate has filed a lawsuit in Federal Court in Baltimore seeking an injunction against Brendan Knudson and damages for hacking a web site which evidently housed unpublished manuscripts by the cofounder of the Seventh-day Adventist Church” (Adventist Today, August 2012). Many of the works that were uncovered had been unrevealed to the public. I wondered, “why should some of what the prophetess said be hidden?” What gain is there in not sharing all that she said?
The truth is, there were a lot of questionable writings that were kept away from those who may see the truth and walk away from believing in her.
For example:
“God has shown me those who keep God's commandments to have nothing to do in praying for the sick of those who are daily trampling them underfoot, unless it is in some special case where souls are convicted of the truth and are decided to move out upon it. The partition wall between commandment keepers and those who trample them underfoot should be kept up” (Letter 11, 1853, to Brother Pierce).
“I saw that the Lord had been displeased with some of the brethren for following the desires of their eyes, and getting costly Bibles when a cheaper Bible contained all the words of God, and answers the same purpose. I saw money had been wasted in this thing to gratify a selfish feeling.”
*NOTE: An 1899 leather-bound Great Controversy book sold for $7 at the time. Adjusted for inflation, it would sell for $217.67 in 2019.
God’s Attitude Towards Children
During Sabbath school classes we learn of God’s love for children. Yet, that seems to change as we grow older and are placed in adult Sabbath school classes. These classes are often full of arguing about what is required for salvation. I have found that there is little said about love. Now I know why. I now believe that Jesus looks at as all like children. Despite our age, there is much we can learn. I do not believe for a moment a God of love “hates” children of any type.
"God hates unruly children who manifest passion and evil tempers, etc. He can not save them in the time of trouble” (Manuscript 1, 1854, para. 12).
"If Willie acts well, if he is gentle, kind, and obedient, father and mother will love him and all good people will love him” (Letter 9, 1859).
"You must not get angry, but remember the Lord could not love you if you should be naughty” (Letter 10, 1859).
"The Lord loves those little children who try to do right and He has promised that they shall be in His kingdom, but wicked, naughty children, God does not love” (Letter 3, 1860).
"When you really [believe] this message the effect upon you will be to separate from the world, live out your faith, sell that you have, give alms, and lay up for yourselves a treasure in the heavens. God has come very near unto you when you were at a great distance from Him. He took two idols from you that you might draw near unto Him and that God alone might be exalted and reign supreme in your heart, and that your eye might be single to His glory. These children were snatched away to save you and her.” (Letter 1, 1857). I throw up in my mouth reading this. So sad. How can someone fill a person’s mind with such things?
Annoyance at Pleasure
Ellen White has countless remarks against pleasure of all kinds. Beyond
disparaging those who look at life as a grand carnival and enjoy the time on this earth that God has given us, Ellen White was particularly against joy of all kinds.
"Joking and jesting will not tend to your advancement in the divine life... The nearer you live to God, the greater will be your disrelish of these things. ...God is displeased with all such hilarity and glee, you are left weak in faith and shorn of your strength” Letter 14, 1862, to Mary Lyon.
Imagine a God that gives us a sense of humor and then a prophetess that says we can not use it. There are plenty of other such quotes, but to put them all here would make this book quite long-winded. Joy and happiness to Ellen White, in this world, appeared to be a sin.
Other letters that are questionable
The following letter looks like it came straight from Countryside or my brother-in-law:
"You are a complete agent for Satan to work through. You have lacked religion and have imitated the hateful disposition of Satan. You are one of his faithful servants."
“…God disowns you. You are a curse to His cause. ... God will never take such as you to heaven” (Letter 12, 1862, to Jarvis Munsel).
"I was shown... You have been sympathized with too much... In your present
state of mind you are not fit to marry. There is no one that would wish you, in your
present helpless, useless condition. If one should fancy he loved you; he would be worthless; for no sensible man could think for a moment of placing his affections upon so useless an object... At the present time your condition is not acceptable in the sight of God…” (Ellen White, Testimonies, vol. 2, pp. 324,325).
It seems to me that Ellen White was absolutely obsessed with Satan. Although I now question if Satan even exists, I must say if there was a Satan, I picture him looking a lot like Ellen White.
Failed prophecies
"It is really not wise to have children now. Time is short, and the perils of the last days are upon us, and the little children will be largely swept away before this” (Letter 48, 1876, para. 9).
Should have people listened to her counsel and stopped having
children? Throughout my time in the church, I have heard over and over again how it was not wise to go to college, build a career, or have children. Yet, life goes on. How many people stopped living their lives and making the world a better place because of the “prophetic” whims of this individual?
On June 27, 1850 Ellen White stated: “My accompanying angel said, 'Time is almost finished. Get ready, get ready, get ready.' . . . now time is almost finished. . . and what we have been years learning, they will have to learn in a few months” (Ellen White, Early Writings, pp. 64-67). Over 170 years have passed since this message was given.
“The time of trouble has commenced, the reason why the four winds have not been let go, for the saints are not all sealed…” (November 18, 1848 vision).
“I was shown the company present at the Conference. Said the angel: “Some food for worms, some subjects of the seven last plagues, some will be alive and remain upon the earth to be translated at the coming of Jesus” (Ellen White, Testimonies, Vol. 1, p. 131.)
“I saw some, looking too far off for the coming of the Lord. Time has continued on a few years longer than they expected, therefore they think it may continue a few years more, and in this way their minds are being led from present truth, out after the world” (Ellen White, Broadside 2, January 31, 1849, par. 11).
“The hour will come; it is not far distant, and some of us who now believe will be
alive upon the earth, and shall see the prediction verified, and hear the voice of the archangel, and the trump of God echo from mountain and plain and sea, to the uttermost parts of the earth” (Ellen White, Review and Herald, July 31, 1888.)
“[The resurrection] is not far in the future. Some of us will doubtless be living when the voice that is heard everywhere…” (Ellen White, Bible Echo, January 15, 1889).
I don't doubt many were perturbed that Ellen White was often wrong in her
predictions. Especially when those visions had such power over the lives of people. It seemed to me that “her accompanying angel” had no clue what he/she was talking about. Then again, I think her “accompanying angel” was madness at best, if not outright deception.
There were some who spoke out against Ellen White, which was heroic to do back in the day. If you got on her bad side, she would write a scathing letter. Here are some things that others wrote about the prophetess of everything:
“That in some meeting where a number of the brethren were, myself [Haskell] included, you saw that we all would live till the Lord would come and that we would all be saved, but many are dying, to our confusion” (Arthur White, Ellen G. White: The Australian Years: 1891 - 1900 vol. 4, p. 282).
“I became acquainted with James White and Ellen Harmon (now Mrs. White) early in 1845. ... She pretended God showed her things which did not come to pass. At one time she saw that the Lord would come the second time in June 1845. The prophecy was discussed in all the churches, and in a little 'shut-door paper' published in Portland, Me. During the summer, after June passed, I heard a friend ask her how she accounted for the vision? She replied that 'they told her in the language of Canaan, and she did not understand the language; that it was the next September that the Lord was coming, and the second growth of grass instead of the first in June.' September passed, and many more have passed since, and we have not seen the Lord yet. It soon became evident to all candid persons, that many things must have been 'told her in the language of Canaan,' or some other which she did not understand, as there were repeated failures. I could mention many which I knew of myself.
“Once, when on their way to the eastern part of Maine, she saw that they would have great trouble with the wicked, be put in prison, etc. This they told in the churches as they passed through. When they came back, they said they had a glorious time. Friends asked if they had seen any trouble with the wicked, or prisons? They replied, 'None at all.' People in all the churches soon began to get their eyes open, and came out decidedly against her visions; and, just as soon as they did so, she used to see them 'with spots on their garments,' as she expressed it. I was personally acquainted with several ministers, whom she saw landed in the kingdom with 'Oh! such brilliant crowns, FULL of stars.' As soon as they took a stand against the visions, she saw them 'doomed, damned, and lost for ever, without hope” (Miles Grant, An Examination of Mrs. Ellen White's Visions).
Many compare unfulfilled prophecies with Jonah’s Ninevah prophecy. It is said to be conditional. Yet, the problem with this is that her “prophecies” affect how people live their lives and cause confusion that continue to this day. Some have said “Jesus would have returned” had we done x or y. With this logic, all prophecies that do not come to pass can be called "conditional." Yet, such conditions were not spelled out or even based on anything more than belief or opinion from one small group. Relying on Ellen White’s visions for the return of Jesus Christ is shortsighted at best and dangerous at worst. Moreover, the Bible states: “When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him” (Deut. 18:22). If you look closely, you will see that pretty much everything Ellen White prophesied about was wrong. Yet the church and her estate continue to push her writings as truth and inspired by God. There is no room to think differently, as I found out. You can sexually abuse children and the church will tell the children to not speak out and move the pastor to a new church, but once you stop believing in Ellen White, the church tells you your time as an employee or worker with the church is up.
Early Pioneers Doubted Ellen White’s Visions
While early pioneers looked at Ellen White far differently than the modern church, we are presented with the fact that we look back in time with rose-colored glasses. The narrative has shifted. To cults like Countryside, every word of Ellen White is inspired. For organizations that hold considerable power, such as the Ellen White estate, everything about her is infallible. One has to look beyond what they are fed:
"Elder Loughborough had been holding a series of lectures to us on the terrible
cost of salvation for man. It meant that very God had to yield himself as a ransom. I think this is the belief by all Protestants today. He tells the story that the angels went to the Father to plead that they might die for the human race rather than Jesus die, and that God had said to them, 'No, if we would save man, God must die in his stead.’ And that is a Biblical truth.
"But there appeared in one of the Adventist magazines at the time a statement by Mrs. White in which she said, 'When Christ was crucified it was His human nature that died. Deity did not sink and die, that would have been impossible” (Letter #250, 1904. Review and Herald 1882 article, The Upward Look).
"I took this down to Elder Loughborough. I didn't know at the time that he was in an uncertain state -- he could not accept Mrs. White as a prophetess, which we will bring in later. I said, 'Elder, you say that God was to be sacrificed. But here Mrs. White says a human body was all that was required. Is it true that all the world was saved through the death of a human body? Or was it a God that died?’
"I could see the sadness on the face of the elder man in which he shook his head sadly and said, 'Henry, that should never have been printed. They printed it a long time ago and I insisted that it not be printed again. Now I see they have done it again" (Harry Brown, Memoirs, 1984).
Ellen’s husband, James White stated:
"I shall use the old head God gave me until he reveals that I am wrong. Your head won't fit my shoulders. Keep it where it belongs, and I will try to honor God in using my own. I shall be glad to hear from you but don't waste your precious time and strength in lecturing me on matters of mere opinions.”(Letter quoted in Ellen G. White letter to Lucinda Hall, May 16, 1876).
A.G. Daniels, General Conference President in 1919 stated: "I have eaten
pounds of butter at her table myself, and dozens of eggs. I could not explain that in her own family if I believe that she believed those were the Lord's own words to the world.” (Meeting notes from the Conference on the Spirit of Prophecy, 1919).
In the end, the thing that killed it for me was following someone who could not follow their own rules for life. On issues of jewelry, eating, photography, money, and reading, she said one thing and did the complete opposite. When something affects how you live your life, your quality of life, and how you see the world, yet they don’t even follow their own rules, why should you base your life on what they say? I can’t say that I believe that Ellen White was inspired, and I have come to conclude that I saw the fruit of her life and message at Countryside.
After well over a year of research, the list of the issues I have with Ellen White includes the following:
•Comments stating that God can not hear our prayers if we do not follow the health message (even though she did not follow her own rules).
•Saying reading fiction leads to insanity, even though she had her own library of fiction.
•Stating that we need to live modestly, while she had a very large home in California at her death, and her own servants.
•Saying that her followers should not dress fancy, but she was able to dress well.
•The fact that her estate had to be hacked into before all her writings were released to the public.
•The fact that troubling ideas such as “the shut door” theory were previously hidden.
•Folk legends such as how she held a heavy bible up while in vision were just stories.
•Rules for every aspect of life that are not mentioned in the Bible.
•Attacking those who questioned her seems very unchristlike.
•Statements about how God can’t love unruly or disobedient children.
•Absurd statements: (Piano tuning leads to insanity), and borderline racist statements: (all people in Heaven will be white).
•The fact that prophecy was a cultural phenomenon in her time. She arose around the same time as many prophets, including more famous ones like Joseph Smith.
•Extensive plagiarism but claims that all of it was what she was shown by God.
In 1895, when Fannie objected to the practice of stealing the writings of others and putting them in Ellen White's books without giving proper credit, Ellen slapped her in the face. (J. H. Kellogg to E. S. Ballenger, January 9, 1936). Her employment was then terminated.
•Health messages that are based on fads of the 1800s, such as eschewing spicy foods. Sadly, these messages are still treated as rules for modern day Adventists to follow.
•Failed prophecies, such as a second civil war and England attacking the United States.
•Observing that her most devout followers are often very insecure about life, often fearful, and sometimes militant.
•How she pushed others to sell her books and demanded more money for her writings.
•The fact that others in the church during her time questioned her. The fact that her husband said she was “going too far.”
•How history has painted her with rose-colored glasses, turning her more into a folk hero within the church.
•The fact that many do not know if she wrote her books herself or if she had outside help from others in the church.
•Mental stability issues, lack of joy in life.
•Claims that God will take away your children if you do not spread her messages.
•Outlandish claims like how buying a bicycle is a waste of money. Overall obsession with money.
•Writings that contradict one another.
Ellen White seemed to have rules on just about every small matter of life. Her need for control over every aspect of life was troubling. She wrote on topics such as life insurance and labor unions, and how “Sabbath-keeping Adventists” should not align themselves with these “worldly” groups. She always claimed that she was “shown by God” these things as if God had a blueprint for every tiny aspect of life. In the end, her advice hurt many who could have taken advantage of prudence and wisdom and preparing for the future.
I began to wonder: Was her motive to keep people fully dependent on the church, where they only feared the outside world? As I looked at many of her most devout followers, I saw this was the case. Countryside was the perfect example of this: An insulated group that believes that the government is planning to kill them. It is not always so extreme on the surface, though. Many opt to keep themselves fully removed from the world, homeschooling their children, working only in the church, and avoiding as much contact with the world as possible. In the end, it makes it close to impossible to make friends, connect with different people, and only further insulates one and proves the idea that they are a strange group—and thus many continue to reach for her, because they feel that the world won’t have them.
This book was never intended to be a book to disprove Ellen White. Enough of those books have been published. However, I have stated enough to back my own claims up and to state how I feel on the matter. What is most bothersome to me is that all the results that one gets on Google when searching for Ellen White are positive. The more questionable quotes have been well hidden. Many people in the church are only getting one side of the story. They are told to “never question.” They are told to “just believe.” During sermons, Ellen White’s words are placed next to the Bibles. Adventist churches are full of her writings, with the majority of members believing she is inspired. Believing in “the spirit of Prophecy” is a requirement for membership in the church. It is no secret that that is doublespeak for “Ellen White.” I ask myself: Why haven’t more Seventh-day Adventists and pastors searched this information out for themselves? Or do they push it aside knowing that they would be fired if the spoke the truth? Does this make them fit to be leaders? I know that I have lost my trust in pastors that push Ellen White when I believe that they should first research what they peddle.
I wonder: Did Ellen White know what she was doing? Did the rock that hit her head cause brain damage? Did she knowingly use God’s name to enrich herself as many other prophets of her time did? She was not alone. The prophetic landscape was filled with wannabe prophets all vying for power during Ellen’s lifetime. There is no doubt that Ellen White was playing on the success of Joseph Smith and even happened to use some of the same writings to gain power in the church. Either Ellen White knew exactly what she was doing and has much to answer for, was just a tool of the church, or had enough brain damage to believe that she was truly inspired. Yet, in modern Adventism, she has become somewhat of a folk goddess and guide to the church and the Bible. If Adventists were truly people of the book, they would not lean on her and instead lead on Jesus. One can not claim to have “the truth” if Ellen White is your version of the truth.
I have wrestled with the fact that few pastors seem to call her out or even
question their beliefs. How can a pastor claim to lead others to Christ without looking deeper into Ellen White’s questionable statements? Is it for money? Is it for power? Do they believe? Are they afraid of losing their jobs? Before a pastor claims that Ellen White was a prophet or was inspired by God, they should look deeply into what they believe in. These are questions I wrestle with myself.
It was my questioning on the subject of Ellen White that put me in the crosshairs of the church. I knew that my time was up when I began to doubt her. I was absolutely crushed and elated when I found out she was a false prophet. Crushed because so much of my life was built around her. Elated because I hated the person I was when I internalized her. I became passionate about these feelings, and I could not hold them back. I had to talk about it, but the more I did, the more trouble I got in. That was enough proof for me to clearly see the fruits of it all. And as I write this today, I am so glad I have.
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