Washington Conference of Seventh-day Adventists "Embarassed" by My Writings

I have been told that I have to write a letter of apology to various organizations in the church. I am going to share that letter here:

It was a good important meeting [we] had with you and [your wife] Monday. I think we both learned about some things we need to work on.  My hope is only that we now genuinely follow through with in the direction we agreed on.  Here we need your help.  It is in the agreement that 

1. You will follow through the pulling off the media of all your blogs and writings with an apology concerning your frustrations with the church.

2. That you will apologize to the [Local] church people for the frustration they have experienced over your writings and enter an agreed definite ‘plan’ to work more closely through their church board. And

3. [We need definite help on this] and that is to write an apology for the frustration and embarrassment your blogs have caused the Washington Conference from several people over the criticism you have voiced. When I reported to them the content and results of our visit yesterday there was a strong reaction to whether or not to believe that you are genuinely really sorry for your writings and putting them on social media. I think nothing short of a written apology to the conference via [name] [who is in charge of their Native ministries program] really needs to come from you. I was surprised over the strong amount of ‘hurt’ they are going through over all this. It has been blowen out of whack by some and has caused a lot of confusion. The power of the pen for good or bad result is beyond what I ever thought! [his] email address is [email address] . Please if you would do this for us and yourself right away – thanks,

Now, for you and me. I would like to work with you on a weekly email communication basis as we discussed if you’re still game. I know that I would enjoy it. We could talk over definite questions you have about the church, theology, and the basis for belief. I don’t profess at all to have all the answers but it would be neat to work at establishing thinking for both of us on issues. Is this something you would like to do? Let me know.

***

I am going to figure out something to write to buy us some time here. Have my views on the church change? No. The meeting with the supervisors only confirmed more in my heart that I was right about what I said. Coercion and pressure was used to get us to rethink my beliefs. Yet, I do not believe that I said or wrote anything wrong. I was only telling my story, just as is right. 

The meeting with the supervisors was very interesting. There were many things that were said at the meeting. The main thing was that we had until September to vacate. That was because my wife is working for the tribe. I was told that we would be given a gift fo $3000 to leave and that would be paid within 30 days of our exit. I was not told that the gift was tied to a particular date, and since it was called a gift, I accept it. 

Let me go over the stipulations in the “agreement.” It is funny that it is called an agreement, because I never agreed to these things. But I am going to talk about my feelings about them for when I do post this. 

1. I am to write an apology concerning your frustrations with the church. That seems like coercion to me. Why should I apologize for being frustrated with the church? To be told I have to apologize for my feelings, or for abuse, seems absurd and like more abuse. It is a continuation of the toxicity that is rife within the church. That was the entire message that was put out on this blog, and is a reason why it will be republished. 

2. The Forks church has a lot to apologize for themselves. I see no point on apologizing to the same people who refused to pay for their own church’s electricity, who didn’t come to me when they had an issue, who have spied on me, who have tried to have me fired, and who have been distant without even telling us why. The Forks church represents the far right extremism that is rife within Adventism. I see this as a bastion of toxic masculinity. Pastor Jay Coon has made it clear he has no intention in speaking with us and has shown zero interest in the Native American population that he is tasked with reaching out to. I don’t think a single native knows this individual, even though he has been here for over two years.

3. The Washington Conference has been embarrassed by my blogs. That’s a shame. I am sorry that you were embarrassed by my own trauma and my journey. You should be embarrassed in a sense, because the systematic abuse is rife. The fact that perfection is still pushed without any reasoning beyond the dogma of the SDA church is insane! They are right to believe that I am not sorry for telling my story, for bringing the abuse to the light, and for being completely honest and open about my feelings. There is no reason for me to be sorry about those things. It’s abusive and absurd to think that I need to apologize for the hurt I have gone through and for my writings. I am honesty appalled by this.

Like I said, the only reason I am going along with these things is because I care about the people here, and because we were brought here, not given pay, served as volunteers for the people, and that there’s no way I am going to just pack up and leave because a bunch of toxic men want me to do so. For them to think that I am the kind of person who will just unpublish my writings is absurd. 

Yet, let it be known that the day we decide to leave, I will continue to speak about these issues and will not be silent about them.