Adventist Frontier Missions Blocked My IP Address!

 

How do you know your work is doing something? How do you know what you do has value in the world? One way to tell is when you see that your work is being noticed by the big dogs. Conrad Vine has taken notice, as has his organization AFM. I have been posting a LOT about Adventist Frontier Missions, and now I'm going to turn it up a bit! You see, I have a TON of insider information about AFM and want to say right here that it is incredibly shady when you have to block someone's IP address when they have done nothing except state their views.

I have not harassed or bothered anyone at AFM. In fact, I have left almost everyone alone as I know that talking about my views are going to fall on deaf ears. My posts are not meant for AFM members, however I do provide information for those who are thinking about going into AFM. Yes, I have reviewed AFM on Glass Door and noticed that my reviews are not the only negative one's about AFM. Adventist Frontier Missions has just proved that it has something to hide, and by blocking my IP address, AFM is hiding! 

The entire SDA church has been hiding from me ever since I started asking questions. Jay Coon would not reply to emails or even speak to us for over a year once I started to assert that Ellen White was a fraud. Steve Huey has disappeared, locked into his own little world since we left Queets. The Forks SDA church had nothing to do with us once I started to wonder why they wouldn't pay their sister church's electric bill (they now pay it again since we left). 

And now Conrad Vine's AFM has blocked my IP address. The SDA church is terrified of people learning the truth. The church is shrinking in today's modern world. If this church really had God's stamp of approval as the true remnant church, the SDA church would not have to hide such gross abuse to children and others. But that doesn't matter. All that matters to the church is numbers and money. It's all that has ever mattered. Once you find this out you are pushed away. 

Now AFM has blocked me so I won't talk to their employees. I have not reached out to them before, but now I am considering it. I can give them a lot to think about. In fact, I am going to start sending my book to members, starting with David and Cindy White! Let's gooooooo! Conrad Vine has a lot of his own issues right now, as the Michigan conference just banned him from speaking in their churches. What a joke! 

Defecting From the SDA Church Takes Courage But Changes Your Life For the Better

I was reading an article about North Korean soldiers being sent to fight the war against Ukraine for Russia. As I was reading, I saw something about the hopes that Ukraine and South Korea have that North Korean soldiers will defect. The article on BBC stated that it takes a long time for North Korean soldiers to gain the courage to defect. And then it hit me: This is what I did with the Seventh-day Adventist church.

It takes incredible courage to leave something that you are told "is the only truth." For those in the SDA church, we are told that if we leave the church, we are likely to be lost. I have been told over and over again that those who turn their back on Ellen G. White's spirit of prophecy are lost and will not go to Heaven. Steve Huey asserted many times that Ellen White made it clear that those who leave the church are lost. The amount of damaging propaganda in the SDA church, or should I say cult at this point, is incredibly damaging. 

Yet, now I look back to my time in the SDA church in a way that is very similar to how a former North Korean looks back at their life in the regime. It was psychologically damaging. It was incredibly isolating. Adventists teach that the world is evil. Adventists teach that everything in the insular church is better. Adventists teach that things such as fiction, chess, and focusing on this life rather than preparing for the end of the world is wrong. Adventists are obsessed with the end of the world and being the remnant church. They see themselves as the church that has prophecy on their side. While they agree that we should test prophets, Ellen G White is off limits. "We don't need her if we only read our Bibles" we are told, which asserts she is truth. The Ellen White Estate vehemently defends everything she says that is controversial. And there is a lot of it. Ellen White wrote more prolifically than almost any author of her time, they say. The problem with that is that she wrote some truly messed up things. 

Much of what she said never came to pass or was outright ludicrous. The church doesn't teach that. Rather, the SDA church focuses on the few things that they can spin that makes it look like Ellen G White was a true prophet. They ignore the fact that she plagiarized almost everything she wrote. They ignore the fact that most of her science was proven wrong. And the SDA church won't tell you that Ellen G White plagiarized from Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet. 

I now look at my life, away from the SDA church, and I feel a deep peace. The truth is, this was my in-law's church. My in-laws come from a very broken background. I am not them. I do not want to be them. Why did I adopt their strange religion? These questions I ask myself, but the truth is, now I am out and there's nothing that could ever make me go back. Once you defect you don't go back. You see how much better life is on the other side. You realize just what you missed. Every single ex-Adventist will tell you that. But it takes incredible courage to defect. 

When I left the SDA church I was going against close to two decades of teaching that I would be lost. I don't believe that at all now. I see that the SDA church is a cult that feeds endless lies to its followers and uses fear to make money. I am so glad I am free of that. 

The Jay Coon Board Meeting @ Forks Seventh-day Adventist Church

We had only been to one board meeting since we returned to Queets the second time. During my first sentence in Queets, I was a board member at the Forks church under Ryan Wilson. However, when we returned to Queets for two more years, we were not offered board membership. We did, however, go to one board meeting. This is that story.

It was now night. The black sky hovered above Forks, WA like an angry demon. The church was a solace from the world. A place of peace and refuge against the storms of life. The Forks Seventh-day Adventist church is a small building on the outskirts of town. On the occasion where we would go to this church, there were often elk grazing outside as the fog rolled off the mountains to the east. 

But this was not day, nor was there elk. We sat down at the board meeting that had already started. We were late, as our daughter was hungry. We came into the room and sat down. A few papers were handed to us by the family that had held up the church for so long. I had heard from them just how this pastor was different than Ryan Wilson. A real "go-getter." It was no secret that Pastor Jay Coon had some huge plans and this board meeting was a chance for him to flex that muscle.

We all sat down and looked through the papers. This was going to be a long meeting, I realized. We were there for one reason, and that reason would have to wait until the end. Coon wanted to build a creation garden outside of the church. He had already secured funding to buy an R.V. and it was parked outside in the back. It was his place to spend the night when he came to visit so he would not have to drive back late like Ryan Wilson did. Now, we heard that this was kind of a contention with the church, but Coon wanted to have his own way, and his own way he had. 

Now he was going to build a creation garden in the same town that was famous for Olympic National Park. Over the course of the board meeting, Coon discussed the fence that would need to be built. It was going to be a huge wall. A great wall! And the elk would pay for it all! Actually, the Forks church would pay for it. The creation garden would not be cheap, but it was a good use of the funds that the Forks church had amassed over the years according to Jay Coon. Far better than doing nothing with it or letting it sit. 

I wondered to myself, "why are they building a creation park when there's a national park right outside? Why build something like this when there are plenty of nice parks in the area?" But I think Coon wanted to leave a legacy with his name on it. He was already working hard to secure grants. But it would not be enough (that I would learn later).

Now, I never got the feeling that Jay Coon didn't like us, but looking back, I wonder if we were a third party that he didn't want to deal with. Jay Coon was never particularly outgoing towards us. He was all about business and expansion and getting his own way. He seemed driven and focused on achieving his own goals, despite the cost. When the Forks church was against the purchase of the RV, he went ahead with it anyway. Nobody would get in Jay Coon's way, and that's probably the way it has always been.

Jay Coon's mouth moved, chattering. Few of us could get a word in. Although we had one small purpose to be at the board meeting, it had to wait until the end. Our child, bored out of her mind, sat there as Coon went on and on about how the Creation Garden would be a great benefit for the town of Forks. Ideas about how the Creation Garden could make money for the church. Ideas about how the church needed to use its money for something and it was no good just sitting there. His eyes batted back and forth as he spoke. 

Being a pastor in Forks is like being a big fish in a pond full of minnows. The church probably has about a dozen members. Few of those show up every Sabbath. Every four weeks, Jay Coon makes his way to Forks to preach to this small crowd. It's a dying church, and he knows that. A creation garden perhaps would breathe life into it! I can just imagine the Forks families: "Let's go to the church with the creation park! The one that worships that crazy woman prophet who got hit on the head with the rock!"

Board meeting topics were always so drab at this church. Things like fixing a light that went out made for a total yawn fest. Going over endless financial papers was always such a drag, man. I always felt that it was unnecessary to have all these board meetings for a church with twelve people. Why not just have a couple a year and call it at that? But this creation park and that RV were so important to Jay Coon! 

We had climbed into that RV during the summer before we went to train with AFM and it was pretty nice. Jay Coon was super proud of it. He said he was going to let visiting pastors use it when they came to preach at Forks. Maybe it was his way of getting out of having to drive there so much. 

I feel like pastors that are sent to Port Angeles and Forks are kind of at a stalemate in their career. It's not the most glamorous place to be sent. I'm guessing Jay Coon is kind of a small deal in a dying church. The Washington Conference is in a bad place. The church is dying and Washington SDA churches seem to be less and less relevant as time goes on. But to be placed at a church with 12 people is just pathetic. And that had to grate on Jay Coon's epic ego. 

As Coon spoke I could not help but think that maybe he chose the wrong job. This guy is not a pastor, I thought to myself. No way! This guy can't be a pastor! He seems more like a shady business person than a person of the cloth. Of course, this was before I realized just how dark and deceptive the SDA church was. Later on I'd start to question Ellen G White and the rest is history. Jay Coon couldn't handle anyone who thought differently or asked questions in his church. After that meeting, we'd never speak to Coon again. He needed us out of his hair, and he did everything he could to separate himself from us in every way possible.

Fast forward a couple years, and Jay Coon got his garden. The last I saw him was in the Forks Fourth of July parade as he marched down main street with a big banner that said "Creation Park" on it. He didn't look too happy to see us! I waved but he just scowled. He got his park, but the cost was huge. Projects before people. Ego before compassion. These were things that made me seriously question Adventism further. What's kind of funny is, had Jay Coon just spoke with us, this blog may have never been. In fact, the Washington Conference could have saved themselves a HUGE headache if their pastor didn't cut us off. 

But now the Washington Conference of Seventh-day Adventists gets this big beautiful blog, and that's my parting gift. Thank you for reading!

The Seventh-day Adventist Church is a Mess

In life I have done a lot, and one thing that has always worked well for me was to stay far away from overly chaotic and messy situations. Growing up in a broken home with an overbearing mother primed me for Adventism. And although I left home at a very early age, Adventism replaced the brokenness of the home, as it does with so many others. I have stated here dozens of times how I would listen to my cohorts at AFM talk about their lives, and intense brokenness and abuse was the norm. I was shocked by this fact and realized that I do not want to surround myself with brokeness.

The Bible says something about whatever is pure, whatever is good, but the SDA church doesn't fit this bill. When I tested the church (as one should), I found it wanting. From hidden abuse, to public abuse cases that are coming forth like wildfire, and the messiness of Conrad Vine and the anti-vaxx movement that has permeated the church, the SDA miasma is a total and complete mess. 

You would think that a church with so many rules and ordinances would be more clean cut. But the SDA church isn't. In fact, all those rules and ordinances only add to brokenness. Telling people that they can't read fiction because it will lead to insanity (Ellen's words), or that black slaves would not go to Heaven:

In 1858 Ellen G. White wrote that "the slave master would have to answer for the soul of his slave whom he has kept in ignorance. . . . God cannot take the slave to heaven, who has been kept in ignorance and degradation, knowing nothing of God, or the Bible, fearing nothing but his master's lash, and not holding so elevated a position as his master's brute beasts. But He does the best thing for him that a compassionate God can do. He lets him be as though he had not been."

I want nothing to do with a church that puts limits on God. I want nothing to do with a church so steeped in abuse, spying, telling people how to think, believe, act, be. When I learned how Ellen G White was a fraud in the same vein as Joseph Smith and the other prophets that were once apart of the American landscape, I had to get out. 

Now I'm free. I live my life as I wish. My family is happy. My relationship with my wife is so good. We can just breathe and be. Monte Church and other SDA leaders think that I'd be happier back in the church. No way! Not even close. I look back to those dark days and felt like garbage because I could never have the "Adventist Home" that was good enough for Mrs. White. I have a lovely home, thank you very much. I have a lovely life. I can travel, explore, learn, and be sure that if there is a God, he or she must love me because he/she made me. I don't need the Ellen White God telling me how to feel about every aspect of life. That's abuse. I love being free!

What Could Have Been Done For Me Not To Leave Seventh-day Adventist Mission Work?

I promised my ex supervisor I'd write on this topic, and I want to make good on that promise. 

When I was "serving" in Queets as a lay pastor and missionary with AFM, I was expected to give, give, give. I thought about what would have allowed me to want to stay. What could have been done for me to not leave?

It is so hard to say, because I started to figure things out about the church when I was in AFM, and those things didn't sit well with me. The biggest issue I had was the abuse that was hidden by the church. At this point, I was still under the impression that Ellen G White was a prophet of God, and I was having a hard time with her statements that said we had to protect the church and how the church was the object of God's supreme regard. Adventist Frontier Missions opened my eyes to begin researching the abuse that this "perfect" church hid, and when I uncovered things, or heard about abuse from AFM instructors (such as Susan Payne), I was horrified.

It was after I left AFM and went to Queets that I began to question other aspects of the church. I talk a lot about this in my book and don't want to repeat it all here. However, I will say that it would have been less likely that I would have left if:

1. I was allowed to take time off from the work here and there. The Olympic Peninsula gets very dark in the winter months and I was not earning anything from my work with AFM. I have seasonal depression and being able to take a trip here or there on my own money would have been nice. I am human. I heard about it from some people every time I stepped away and was guilted for not being present in Queets. My presence there was not as important as my supervisor seemed to think (and now there is absolutely nobody there, so it backfired now, didn't it?).

2. We should have been defended when others attacked me over my views. The fact that the church electricity was turned off is something I'll never understand. It was NEVER our job to pay for the SDA church's electric bill. The way this was used as a punishment was appalling to me. The fact that Pastor Jay Coon would never speak to us about it nor did he answer emails from me or my wife was ridiculous. Our supervisors refuse to see this as an issue. They completely ignored it as if it was okay. And as a result, now the parsonage and Queets church sits empty. Extremist SDA pastors are allowed to use coercive tactics and nobody says a word.

3. Had I not been spied on by one of the Forks Seventh-day Adventist church's elders, life would have been a lot more lovely for the most part. It was very bothersome to hear from my supervisor that everything I was writing about was being scrutinized and passed on. When a person has a problem with someone they are supposed to go to that person, not try to get you fired over it. My beliefs were my business.

4. Had we had some kind of financial support, we may have felt that our work was more worthwhile. Instead, I felt that the work was worth little in the eyes of the church and community and that depleted my already low self-worth. Being punished and chastised over and over again and never hearing anything good about the work we were doing only destroyed that. 

One year later the Queets Seventh-day Adventist Church sits empty. Monte Church says that Native Ministries has more workers and pastors and projects than it knows what to do with. Monte Church says that Adventism is growing faster than any other faith in the world. If this is the case, where is the person or family that is to replace us? Why is the Queets parsonage sitting empty while native families are cramped in housing on the reservation? Those are the questions I will always ask. 

Seventh-day Adventist Men Are Incredibly Insecure

One thing that has struck me hard as a former missionary in the Seventh-day Adventist miasma is how insecure men in the church are. I have relayed before the accounts of Adventist men working their asses off to keep me in line every step of the journey. Some who stand out include:

Pastor Jay Coon who caused the Forks SDA Church electricity fiasco by stopping payment for the Queets Native American Church electricity to teach us a lesson when I began to question his pet prophet, Ellen G White.

Irate Victor Marshall who demanded that Steve Huey speak to me when I posted about pet prophetess Ellen G White not being so different than Joseph Smith (later on I'd find out that Ellen White plagiarized from Joseph Smith which was a hugely vindicating moment for me).

Male family members who worked their asses off trying to police me throughout the years, using Ellen G White as a weapon for how I chose to live my life. 

Native Ministries Director Steve Huey and Monte Church, both of whom were TERRIFIED that I would put Native Ministries' reputation in jeopardy when I told my story through blogs and writings.

The Washington Conference was livid that I shared my views, demanding a SINCERE APOLOGY from me to save face. Later WashConf would block my Instagram Account as they could not deal with my posts and thoughts that went against the Adventist miasma! 

This is just a short list. I have come in contact with insecure men throughout my life, and most of them have been knee deep in religion, much of it Seventh-day Adventism. But it makes sense. Adventism preys on insecure men. In fact, I am of the full belief that insecure men who grew up in homes where they were not loved are prime targets for SDA men.

At Adventist Frontier Missions, I was flanked by men telling their stories of fathers who didn't appreciate or love them. They were never good enough for their dads--just as SDAs like Jay Coon and Steve Huey are not good enough for Ellen G White. A demanding mother-like figure like Mrs. White is the perfect extension for a man who feels empty and unloved. It's a fit that is more snug than Cinderella's glass slipper! 

Monte Church recently told me that Seventh-day Adventism is the fastest growing religion in the world. .I think he pulled that information right out of his butt, because there's no information anywhere that states that fact. To the contrary, many SDA churches, especially in the United States are contracting, and that's a beautiful thing friends! Adventism is dying slowly, and I imagine one day it will be knocked a lethal blow.

The truth is, more people have access to informative sites like www.nonegw.org that prove beyond a doubt that Adventist prophetess and co-flounder Ellen G White was a fraud. Young people who question the church are seeing that there is nothing to stand on other than lies. Adventism lends itself to the insecure and those who have a financial interest in the church. Pastors like Jay Coon, Conrad Vine, Steve Huey, and Monte Church live good lives and have fine homes that were bought with money from the church. Without the church these men would be Walmart greeters or worse. Many would have never made it in the world. Even with Adventist power backing him at one point, Vine is banned from speaking in many parts of the Adventist world. If he had never entered the SDA miasma, he'd be just another crazy guy panhandling on the corner of Gratiot Ave. What a life!

Those who uphold Adventism are the abused and the hopeful. Those like me who imagined that supporting an abusive church is required for salvation. The SDA church infects fear in people to earn money. Ellen White says: "protect the church at all costs." Yet, what that means is to hide pedophiles and those who hurt children. It means being silent, not bringing the abuse into the light. 

Washington Conference, The Forks Washington Seventh-day Adventist Church, Steve Huey, Monte Church, Jay Coon, and Victor Marshall may have tried their damndest to silence me, but it will NEVER happen. There is a time to speak out. I will always remember when I sat at AFM and Susan Payne said BRING THE ABUSE TO THE LIGHT and that I shall do always! Thank you Mrs. Payne. Your church IS abusive. Congratulations! 

Perhaps when you look at the truth and see reality for what it is, you don't have to be insecure anymore. Once you test your prophet and are humble enough to admit you were wrong (as I did), you can move on. There's no need to be insecure. Your God doesn't need to be a works-obsessed demon. Come on. Do better than that. Your life is a result of what you believe. I can't imagine going back to that. It's so good to be free! So good! 

Seventh-day Adventist Family Ousted From Queets, WA Parsonage by Local Forks, WA SDA Church!

It has now been well over a week and there has been no apology sent. I don’t think I can get myself to do it. I had written a letter and decided I could not get myself to honestly send that. I have no desire to say sorry for things that I am truly not sorry about. Unlike the church, I feel no desire to use deception to get my point across. 

My eyes are being opened so wide regarding the church. The fact that our supervisors came by and told me to take my personal views and beliefs down and apologize for them only shows the desire the church has to be right and not have its reputation harmed in any way. The church comes before its members and missionaries. 

We have been telling people around the village of Queets, WA about the issues that are taking place (we were not supposed to talk about this stuff…more deception). Every single person we have told does not understand why we were told to leave over me stating my own beliefs. They think it’s insane. 

When our supervisors came to visit us a week and a half ago, they mentioned that they had a lot of “damage control” to work on. They mentioned how they needed to bring in a new replacement for us to clean up the damage I have caused the church. Yet, they have no idea how much damage has been done by having us leave. By forcing me underground for a season, I am only writing and compiling more information and looking at things more closely. A church that works to silence people when they discover things is dangerous. 

The Seventh-day Adventist Church Wastes Missionary's Time

 I am starting to draft ideas for a letter to the people in the church who want an apology. I have come up with some thoughts that are ambiguous enough to keep my position here for a while and plan our next steps. For the church to tell us to leave so suddenly because they don’t like the reality of the abuse they caused is absurd. For them to think that I will just stop writing about it is even more absurd. Yet, for a time I am writing this in my journal and will publish it soon. 

I have found that church has wasted my life for long enough. The job is to keep a person busy with tasks and rules so that they can not formulate a healthy life. The fact that I am ten years into my career and currently volunteer with zero pay from the SDA church shows that quite well. The church is embarrassed that they don’t pay me, and they don’t want me to state that. It’s better for me to keep giving value to them rather than speaking up. They want me to apologize and continue to keep giving value while they threaten me with dismissal and ostracization. Sounds abusive to me, doesn’t it?

Even today, I have to plan on what to say in multiple letters while keeping the Sabbath day just holy enough rather than planning my own life. When it comes time to actually think about my own professional development, I am too exhausted by the religious garbage that it’s hard to have the motivation to do so. I feel so low because of the constant message that “I am worthless” or that “I am bad” so that it is very hard to have enough self confidence to think that I will find something. The fact that life continues to pass by and I have nothing to show for it, while my superiors have homes, new vehicles, retirement accounts, and more is insane to me. I don’t consider it envy, I just am upset that the reality is that I have been taken advantage of and that I have to remain silent about it. 

Yet, the supervising pastor says that I have “exhausted” the Forks church with my writings. That’s just too bad for the pastor in Forks who happens to live a pretty cushy life. I’m so sorry that some guy down on the reservation who works a part-time minimum wage job to support the church he won’t have anything to do with is such a problem. Meanwhile, Mr. Coon happens to have a nice home that he is spending money remodeling that overlooks the sea, newer vehicles, and the pay that the church gives those people that it seems to think have a direct connection to the voice of God. It is so ironic that I have to apologize to another entitled Adventist male pastor. Yay!

I look back to the tasks that I saw given to missionaries, and how they were always kept so busy as to not complain or think of anything. Even when the supervisors came to visit, they wanted to send me a bunch of books to read to make sure I got back on track. A missionary’s job is a thankless job in so many ways. But, it’s all good, we earn our stars for Heaven, while pastors get to enjoy the fruits of their labor in this life. And they think that we are so deluded to not see it. But don’t post this stuff… it makes the church look so bad! 

I think back to my time at Adventist Frontier Missions and how Susan Payne told us to “bring the abuse to the light.” I guess that doesn’t count if it’s the Seventh-day Adventist church. Abuse from anywhere else is okay, but not the SDA church. The message is “keep quiet, apologize…and if you say anything we will make sure you’ll regret it.” Yet, I have told so many people about this and I will continue to spread the message. I’ve just gone more secretive about it. I’ve become more quiet. I make sure to talk to specific people. They have been appalled. One asked, “Do you work for a church, or for the mob?”

I have begun to formulate a letter to the Washington Conference. I have decided that I am going to say what I can that is honest and also allows me to keep my job. I have been emailing our supervisor saying that I have been formulating a letter but have purposely not sent one as I am trying to buy some time. I am not going to just send the letter right away, even though I could. 

“I looked over my posts before deleting them and realized how they could be so hurtful. I got so carried away and so concerned with self and my own hurt that I did not take into account the pain the church would feel. It was selfish.”

This appeals to the church’s belief that my own views are irrelevant and my pain matters not compared to the pain that the church feels when it looks bad.

“I cast blame to many in order to feel better. It was a strange thing for me. I am not used to being vocal and I am glad to have those particular moments behind me, no matter what happens next.”

I have left “what happens next” as ambiguous, as this is what happens next. The plan is and always has been to publish more, even though I am not used to being vocal in such a way. I am used to hiding things. No more!

“I believe that counseling would be good for me, and no matter what happens next, I am planning on getting some counseling after the busy summer season at work.”

This is completely true, and appeals to their opinion that the issue is me and me alone.

“I want to understand the pain that others feel and to grow more empathetic.”

The truth is, I want to understand pain and feel empathy. I think that this is something the church lacks. That’s what happens when you have a dead woman calling the shots.

As of this writing, I do not know if the church will accept my apology. On one hand, I think that the church wants to see me squirm and recant before firing me. On the other hand, the church gets a lot of value out of my free labor and may want to save face by letting us keep our job and not being the bad guy. The church’s reputation is the most important thing in the world to them. It is more important than abused children. It is more important than ruined lives. It’s more important than the truth. The church has made itself to be the God. Even when our supervisors were here, they keep repeating the quote, “Enfeebled and defective as it may appear, the church is the one object upon which God bestows in a special sense His supreme regard.” This quote is everywhere on the internet in order to protect the church from negative thoughts and feelings. It is the institution that God Himself is said to worship. The SDA church basically is saying that the church is higher than God. Sounds like what they attack Catholics for.

When our supervisors came, they made it very apparent that they needed someone new to come in and do “damage control.” They needed someone to shape up these godless Indians because we ruined the image of the church down on the reservation, and they don’t like that. The image of the church has always been more important than the native people, and I saw that a year ago when I started to question. I know that the Native Americans would NEVER be accepted in the Forks church. Pastor Jay Coon wants nothing to do with them and has shown that. Native Ministries only seems to care about the image that having a church on this territory gives them. It’s just a power game. Always has been, always will be.

There is so much for me to say and post in the next few months, and I am going to have so much material because of this. I am eagerly waiting for the day when I can post again and share what has happened. But for now, I am quietly telling my story to all who will hear it. The Washington Conference, Native Ministries, Adventist Frontier Missions, the Seventh-day Adventist Church, and the Union are going to have a lot of damage control once we do leave!

Stay tuned, and keep reading, because things are about to get more revealing! 

Washington Conference of Seventh-day Adventists "Embarassed" by My Writings

I have been told that I have to write a letter of apology to various organizations in the church. I am going to share that letter here:

It was a good important meeting [we] had with you and [your wife] Monday. I think we both learned about some things we need to work on.  My hope is only that we now genuinely follow through with in the direction we agreed on.  Here we need your help.  It is in the agreement that 

1. You will follow through the pulling off the media of all your blogs and writings with an apology concerning your frustrations with the church.

2. That you will apologize to the [Local] church people for the frustration they have experienced over your writings and enter an agreed definite ‘plan’ to work more closely through their church board. And

3. [We need definite help on this] and that is to write an apology for the frustration and embarrassment your blogs have caused the Washington Conference from several people over the criticism you have voiced. When I reported to them the content and results of our visit yesterday there was a strong reaction to whether or not to believe that you are genuinely really sorry for your writings and putting them on social media. I think nothing short of a written apology to the conference via [name] [who is in charge of their Native ministries program] really needs to come from you. I was surprised over the strong amount of ‘hurt’ they are going through over all this. It has been blowen out of whack by some and has caused a lot of confusion. The power of the pen for good or bad result is beyond what I ever thought! [his] email address is [email address] . Please if you would do this for us and yourself right away – thanks,

Now, for you and me. I would like to work with you on a weekly email communication basis as we discussed if you’re still game. I know that I would enjoy it. We could talk over definite questions you have about the church, theology, and the basis for belief. I don’t profess at all to have all the answers but it would be neat to work at establishing thinking for both of us on issues. Is this something you would like to do? Let me know.

***

I am going to figure out something to write to buy us some time here. Have my views on the church change? No. The meeting with the supervisors only confirmed more in my heart that I was right about what I said. Coercion and pressure was used to get us to rethink my beliefs. Yet, I do not believe that I said or wrote anything wrong. I was only telling my story, just as is right. 

The meeting with the supervisors was very interesting. There were many things that were said at the meeting. The main thing was that we had until September to vacate. That was because my wife is working for the tribe. I was told that we would be given a gift fo $3000 to leave and that would be paid within 30 days of our exit. I was not told that the gift was tied to a particular date, and since it was called a gift, I accept it. 

Let me go over the stipulations in the “agreement.” It is funny that it is called an agreement, because I never agreed to these things. But I am going to talk about my feelings about them for when I do post this. 

1. I am to write an apology concerning your frustrations with the church. That seems like coercion to me. Why should I apologize for being frustrated with the church? To be told I have to apologize for my feelings, or for abuse, seems absurd and like more abuse. It is a continuation of the toxicity that is rife within the church. That was the entire message that was put out on this blog, and is a reason why it will be republished. 

2. The Forks church has a lot to apologize for themselves. I see no point on apologizing to the same people who refused to pay for their own church’s electricity, who didn’t come to me when they had an issue, who have spied on me, who have tried to have me fired, and who have been distant without even telling us why. The Forks church represents the far right extremism that is rife within Adventism. I see this as a bastion of toxic masculinity. Pastor Jay Coon has made it clear he has no intention in speaking with us and has shown zero interest in the Native American population that he is tasked with reaching out to. I don’t think a single native knows this individual, even though he has been here for over two years.

3. The Washington Conference has been embarrassed by my blogs. That’s a shame. I am sorry that you were embarrassed by my own trauma and my journey. You should be embarrassed in a sense, because the systematic abuse is rife. The fact that perfection is still pushed without any reasoning beyond the dogma of the SDA church is insane! They are right to believe that I am not sorry for telling my story, for bringing the abuse to the light, and for being completely honest and open about my feelings. There is no reason for me to be sorry about those things. It’s abusive and absurd to think that I need to apologize for the hurt I have gone through and for my writings. I am honesty appalled by this.

Like I said, the only reason I am going along with these things is because I care about the people here, and because we were brought here, not given pay, served as volunteers for the people, and that there’s no way I am going to just pack up and leave because a bunch of toxic men want me to do so. For them to think that I am the kind of person who will just unpublish my writings is absurd. 

Yet, let it be known that the day we decide to leave, I will continue to speak about these issues and will not be silent about them.